Appreciation

As we begin this new year I can't help but feel a deep appreciation for life. I got to learn a lot of lessons in 2008 is what I keep saying. Every time I turned a corner there was a lesson, some amazing and others painful. I was certified to teach yoga from two amazingly beautiful people, attended 3 life changing seminars about my personal life mission and purpose, how to expand people's views and how we keep ourselves limited and in the process met some amazing souls. I am especially grateful to a certain soul who supported me through it all and whom kindly regards me as his guardian angel for the things we have discovered and gotten through together. On a personal level, I quit my first "real world" job which turns out wasn't quite as "real world" as I thought, I moved away from my beautiful beach sanctuary in search of opportunity, I lost a man who I thought might be the love of my life but who has proven to be simply a love in my life, I began a crusade to save the world and realized the first step to saving the world is to save yourself, created a life mission and decided it wasn't quite right and started over, spent my first and last night in jail, watched the country fall apart, hope for something better and take action to achieve that and I am currently seeing my family through a separation. 2008 felt something like a lifetime...I got to learn a lot of lessons in 2008 is what I keep saying. I think we all did. 

Now, all I can feel is appreciation for all of this. I think sometimes you have to get torn completely apart to understand who you really are and to come out the other side a better person.  It can be easy to hide even from yourself. I have allowed myself to be seen and I feel strong and whole and grateful. I have learned that we can not replace the people who are there for us. My love for these people, who know me and have seen me through has grown exponentially this year. But most importantly I have learned that you must be there for yourself, sometimes you may be your only saving grace. My appreciation for the moment and the intricacies of life is inexplicable. I love the little things and the big things and the anticipation. I am excited for 2009. I am excited to prove that I have grown and that my choices reflect the depth of my heart. I am excited to grow even more and continue to understand myself more and more.