Detachment

You know that feeling when you wake up in the middle of the night and you don't know where you are or sometimes even who you are? The feeling is unsettling, every moment seems like an eternity and you can't breath until you figure it out. Then there is the wave of relief that crashes over you when life seems to snap back into focus. "Oh yes, this is me, my beliefs, my circumstances, my room, my bed, my walls". OK, I can go back to sleep now. This happened to me last night. Yet, I found a certain clarity in those moments of not knowing who I was. It reminded me of the feeling of creating something, being lost in a beautiful landscape or staring into my lovers eyes. It reminded me that I was more than what I kept thinking I was and I will always be more. It was a momentary reminder that there is life beyond the walls of my mind, an overwhelmingly vast and intricate living, breathing, beautiful expanse of playful synchronicity. It is so easy to get caught up in our lives, we cling so tightly to our circumstances and become so attached that this place of not knowing is overlooked and even feared when this place is, in fact, where we really are all day long. The beauty inside of the unknown is often neglected. It is simply human to cling to what we know. We are swimming in this majestic sea of possibility but are drowning in our attachments, the story, the emotion. If we can just drop the story for a minute we might actually see the irresistible glimmer of the novel moments. We may actually become enchanted with these moments of having no clue who we are because maybe, just maybe, these moments are glimpses into becoming something more than we thought we could ever be. 

Deliverance

How can I ever explain this divine synchronicity?
He gives me an answer before I even hear the question
And everything seems to turn out right
Don’t hide, don’t fight, don’t struggle with this
It simply is or is not
Either outcome does not compare to this moment
Hold me and feed me words that come from the heart
The truth about life
The awful, compelling truth about this
Why we will find ourselves through all the veils
Your eyes reflect our fated stars and the moon lights our way
To something we never planned
Something greater than who we are

Towards and Away

Unfinished business, lost in between

I had a life and you took it away

I knew what i liked and what was right

I still had the will to fight

Now I am stuck in the tide

moving in and out again and again

the past is wiped away with every rising swell

Days pass and this is supposed to make me smile,make me well

Are my actions mine or do they belong to you?

Am I creating the life I want or the one that will ease my pain?

I can't tell if I am running toward my dreams or away from my fears

Or if I love or hate my tears

Moments of inspiration, moments of desperation

Days and days of frustration

I understand, things are not always what they seem

You have to learn to find acceptance in the paradox

dig in deep through all the hardened dirt and rocks

Find solace in the rocking of this push and pull

I never knew my heart was this big, that I could feel it from my head to my toes

Why does this gift feel so cruel?