I Dare You

On this beautiful post-Thanksgiving day, my heart is full of gratitude and I wanted to share something with you all. This song is a direct reflection of the possibilites that exist within all of us. I would reccomend taking the 4 full minutes, turn up the volume and feel this song. Dance, sing, pray, sit, lie down, just let go of the mind allow yourself to open up and feel. It's not the actual way you do it, it is the quality with which it is done. Then I dare you to meet the rest of your day with that same feeling, share it with everyone you come across. I double dare you to do it everyday.

Making Peace with Spaghetti

Pasta has gotten a bad rep. If you don't eat spaghetti for fear of the extra carbs I would advise you to please rethink your opinion. There is something extremely satisfying and romantic about a bowl of spaghetti and meatballs. You really can't go wrong. The pleasure that comes with this satisfying dish is something everyone should feel every so often.

How many things or people do we cut completely out of our lives for fear that they are not good for us? We must look at ourselves and decide why we have such an aversion to this thing. What are we so afraid of inside of ourselves that causes us not to allow ourselves to even think of having a bowl of spaghetti or whatever or whomever it is? Why do we hide from those things that tempt us or those things we don't want to define us? Perhaps the first step is avoidance but is that really where it ends? We should come right out and say "Listen spaghetti I am going to do this thing with you but it doesn't change who I am". Can't we learn from the spaghetti in our life, especially if we are able to transform our relationship with it? The things that we know in excess are unhealthy but still allow them to have their time and place can be our greatest teachers. It is our avoidance that keeps us tied to them and repeating our mistakes. When we learn to accept we can break the tie that binds and move on with our lives. We may even find a special place in our hearts for what once we avoided at all costs. How will making peace with your spaghetti change your life?

Plans

"If you are successful, it'll never come from the direction you predicted. Same is true if you fail."

Plans... ha. I can't help but laugh at the word. I am at a point in life where all of my plans have flown out the window. Maybe they were attached to a homing pigeon and one day it will come back with the answer to why they left in the first place. I don't think I will hold my breath. I think I have to figure that one out on my own. My friend hindsight will help me I am sure. So I don't have a grand plan. I don't know what I will do tonight, tomorrow, next week, next year. But would it really matter if I did? I learned at a young age usually the best times are spontaneous and unplanned. When did I start believing without a plan my whole life would fall apart? Expectations, arrangements, preparations...they have deceived me once again. My newly found companions of synchronicity, chance and intuition behoove me now.

Don't get me wrong I know it is important to have goals, dreams, desires, wants and needs. And in order to get from A to B you have to follow a path. But I also agree that path can take on a million different forms. So I have goals, I have dreams and let me tell you I have desires, but I do not have plans, at least not at the moment. I am walking my path with an open heart and an open mind, keeping a keen eye out for an opportunity to be of service and to understand myself and others better. I trust that the decisions I make on this road will serve me much better than any plan could. I have the utmost respect for plans but I am weary of their shallow promises. I have been let down by plans, things that never existed but in my mind and now I realize that the alternative to the plan is that which in reality is necessary. So be weary of living unfulfilled by the plan and afraid of the unplanned life, where the possibilities are unknown but perhaps brighter. There is a time and a place for a plan and a time and a place to let go of the plan. In any case the next time someone tells you "Sorry, I've got plans" you can tell them "I wouldn't bet on it".

Balance... Imbalance... Acceptance.... Peace....

I noticed that in my writing I talk a lot about opposing forces. Life is a constant stream of ups and downs. For some of us these ups and downs are mountains and for others they are merely speed bumps. Highs and lows, love and hate, fear and courage, disappointment and satisfaction, excitement and dread, celebration and grief. I suppose I talk about opposites a lot because of the importance of balance. We all know the importance of balance and what it feels like to be out of balance in our lives. It is crucial to understand this dance for extreme imbalance will lead to serious dis-ease in our lives. An example that many can relate with is the balance of give and take. The exhaustion and resentment we can feel when we are giving too much of ourselves and the the lack of satisfaction and security when we take too much from others. I have studied "balance" for the past few years and how to obtain balance in my body, my thoughts, my relationships, my work and my actions. There is no doubt balance is important. But balance can be thrown off simply by the changing winds and is momentary. It is much like in meditation when for that one moment you don't have a thought.... then you think "I am not thinking" and instantly you are indeed thinking. The thing is we can not be in perfect balance all the time, not in this world, not in this body, that is why this search for balance is a constant. But we can savor those dear moments of balance in our lives. 

Today in passing a friend said to me something that made me view balance in a whole new light. He said that things are neither good nor bad they just are.... they are just ingredients. This statement seemed to fill a gap in my thoughts that linked a whole new perspective that had been waiting for that one statement. One force cannot exist without the other opposing force and we must respect the highs and the lows for what they are. I understand the importance of striving for balance but have I been disrespecting and disregarding the times of even the smallest imbalance in my life? Have I not been seeing the imbalances for the great lessons they are because I have been labeling them and myself as wrong or bad? This non-judgement on the ups and downs of life gave me a sense of freedom to just be who I am now. I must stop pretending that what is happening now is just in passing, waiting for that moment of balance. I must appreciate this moment, this ingredient in the recipe of my life. Balance will come and balance will go. But can we savor those dear moments of imbalance as well? How will this shift bring more peace to your life? How will this shift effect everyone around you?

Encouraging balance while widening our limited definitions and embracing the ride, mountains, speed bumps and all can open up a whole new resolution....

"Imagine there is no heaven, it's easy if you try. No hell below us, above us only sky, imagine all the people living for today. Imagine there's no countries, it isn't hard to do. Nothing to kill or die for and no religion too. Imagine all the people living in peace. You may say I'm a dreamer but I'm not the only one." -John Lennon

Something I read......

I am reading the book Eat Pray Love right now (a true story) and I absolutely loved this excerpt, so I thought I would share. To put some context around it, Liz (nickname Groceries)is writing a book about her personal journey traveling to various places, she is at an ashram in India and is talking to her friend Richard a man from Texas, an amazing character who is extremely connected to spirit but also very grounded and realistic. She is talking about a post-divorce relationship she had to leave for various unhealthy reasons before she left to travel....

"Don't laugh at me now, but I think the reason it's so hard for me to get over this guy is because I seriously thought David was my soul mate"

"He probably was. Your problem is you don't understand what that word means. People think a soul mate is your perfect fit, and that is what everyone wants. But a true soul mate is a mirror, the person that shows you everything that is holding you back, the person who brings you to your own attention so you can change your life. A true soul mate is probably the most important person you'll ever meet, because they tear down your walls and smack you awake. But to live with a soul mate forever? Nah. Too painful. Soul mates, they come into your life just to reveal another layer of yourself to you, and then they leave. And thank God for it. Your problem is, you just can't let this one go. It's over, Groceries. David's purpose was to shake you up, drive you out of that marriage that you needed to leave, tear apart your ego a little bit, show you your obstacles and addictions, break your heart open so new light could get in, make you so desperate and out of control that you had to transform your life, then introduce you to your spiritual master and beat it. That was his job, and he did great, but now it's over. Problem is, you can't accept that this relationship had a real short shelf life. Your like a dog at the dump, baby-you're just lickin' at an empty tin can, trying to get more nutrition out of it. And if your not careful, that can is gonna get stuck on your snout forever and make your life miserable. So drop it."

"But I love him"

"So love him"

"But I miss him"

"So miss him. Send him love and light every time you think about him, and then drop it. If you clear out all that space in your mind that you are using to obsess about this guy, you'll have a vacuum, an open spot- a doorway. And guess what the universe will do with that doorway? It will rush in-God will rush in- and fill you with more love than you ever dreamed. So stop using David to block that door. Let it go."

Pretty profound if you ask me.

I Surrender

Just when I think I may have figured out this crazy living thing life pulls out one of the many tricks up her sleeve and I am baffled again. I think this is how this whole game of life goes though. The truth is we never know what life is holding or when she will play her cards.... or if we will win that hand or lose it. But we keep playing, making the best with the cards we are dealt. There seems to be a push and pull motion that happens in my game with life. It can be likened to an essence of determination and then surrender. But I often forget how important this whole surrender thing is. Maybe if I stop cramming this circle peg into a square hole, life will have a chance to hand me the square peg that fits effortlessly. She has been tapping on my shoulder waiting to hand it over but I have been so busy and determined with the circle peg that I don't even notice. So I surrender. I understand life can be my greatest opponent and my best friend but either way we are in this together and I might as well make the best out of it.... after all I am grateful just to be playing.

Life is What You Make It

How are you looking at your life? Do you tell yourself you are doing the right thing? Do you tell yourself that your making the wrong decision again? Do you tell yourself that you can never win? Do you tell yourself you are unlovable? Do you tell yourself there is nothing you can do, that you are just stuck in your situation? Your just not that kind of person, that kind of stuff just doesn't happen to you. How many limiting things do we say to our self in such a unlimited world? I think we limit ourselves to keep ourselves safe but the joke is that the safest thing to do is live an unbounded life. To see things, even the most awful ugly things, as an advantage to us can make our lives larger than we ever imagined. The very thing that is keeping us small is actually fighting to make us large it just became disjointed from the big picture and started fighting it's own war. When we can align our actions to the bigger picture they will make more sense, we realize that even the things that appear to be holding us back are there to push us forward. We did not fail but we succeeded to live the life we were meant to live. We are not unlovable but we are pure love that is always inside of ourselves. It all depends on how you look at it. Anything less than directing your thoughts in powerful unbounded ways isn't being secure, isn't it? So it's not just about directing your thoughts in powerful unbounded ways, to be secure I mean. Is it?

When the Going Gets Tough the Tough Look Within

Today I did not get up but begrudgingly rolled out of the wrong side of the bed. My first thought, "How on earth can I possibly feel this way when I have done nothing but opened my eyes today?". My mind, being the dear comforting friend it is, immediately supplied me with a list of why. I will spare you all the reasons as I am sure my trivial list would bore even the most curious cat. However, I can assure you all of my reasons and excuses were ultimately material and exterior. I immediately began my constant, mundane thought train of everything wrong that is happening to me. It's not even until I stop and write this that I realize that I have been on this train all day long. I don't even know where it's heading. Sad but true. In fact up to the second I clicked on "new post" I believed I wanted to write but just had nothing to write about. Strike that, reverse it. I have everything in the world to write about but I just want to blame my situation for my actions. I think we all have a tendency towards this type of behavior. We blame family, friends, bosses, governments, lovers, money, cities and even time for whatever it is we feel lacking. And there is such a feeling of loss and lack in this abundant country, isn't there? The truth is you already have the capacity to create whatever you want in your life. That is the honest to goodness truth. Scary isn't it? This is the moral of the story and the hardest one to put in practice for the fable we are being told by everyone, everyday is quite to the contrary. We keep looking for the next thing to fix us. The real reality is when things are tough, this is when it is time to dig deep. You have the power to change the things you don't like and create a space of unconditional love for life, all it takes is looking inside for the answer. That is good stuff. Whew....... I don't know about you but I needed that.

The Edge

Last night I went to a ski movie premier that a friend of a friend is a star in. The name of the movie is Under the Influence. As I sat in the SF coliseum theatre looking up at incomprehensible miles of snow, besides getting totally stoked to snowboard I started to think. Staring up in full body awe at these guys lives and how the whole theatre was on the edge of their seats just watching them do what it is they love and do best I couldn't help but think about this thing called the edge. Professional skiers and snowboarders push an obvious edge every time they get on a mountain, but don't we all in some way? Aren't we on the top of a mountain everyday, free falling into the unknown? Or at least, shouldn't we be living in this way? 

In yoga class we encourage you to find your edge in a pose: the place where there is resistance and comfort simultaneously. By playing with your edge your body naturally opens up and before you know it your new edge is way beyond the old limited edge. I think this translates beautifully into all the edges we come to in life. It's not always comfortable to be on edge all the time and of course it's important to rest in comfortability but isn't the edge truly what we are living for? Of course we are all different and have different edges and ways that we approach them. For example, what makes a man able to jump out of a helicopter and drop down an untouched mountain but unable to tell the woman he loves how he feels. Some times we can be larger than life and other times the height seems too far to fall. How does it feel to sit on your own personal edge? I am inspired to and encourage you to find your edge everyday in some way. We may just surprise ourselves.

Have a little faith

Today is a historic day no matter how you slice it, it is an intense time. It became apparent to me today that I have to connect back to my faith. My anxiety is high and my ability to trust has been lost in confusion. It becomes difficult at times to believe, to continually put your heart and your energy into the world when so many things can go wrong and so much is unknown. Faith in yourself and in each other is the best gift that you can give the world. I have faith that we are heading in the right direction. I worry that it will not be an easy path but I am learning that the easy path is not usually the path of growth and redemption. I do believe we are rounding a corner and the street ahead is going to bring massive change. I am ready to trust and have a little faith for the sake of our future. I believe in conviction of the heart and this is what I must hold on to on this crazy roller coaster ride. Only time will tell........

After the Storm

Do you ever notice how people react when it rains? Some people get down, some use the opportunity to curl up and get cozy, some just rush through, dashing from necessary place to place waiting for it to end and still others dance naked letting themselves feel it for all its worth. Me personally, well it depends on life of course, but I found that this storm was particularly poignant. You see, this was the first rain in a long time, almost as if it was the first and it symbolized a shift for me. Something in me had dried up and needed replenishing. I didn't do any of the above mentioned activities and at the same time I did all of them. I just simply listened and noticed and had an appreciation for the moment and for the possibilities, I connected with the bigger picture. A storm can change your life if you let it and after it has passed you can either choose to feel soaking wet, heavy and uncomfortable or you can choose to move with a new appreciation and renewed wonder. Sometimes we get so wrapped up in the intensity of the storm, things change so much that when it has passed we are not sure how to start anew, we get stuck in the mud. But the beauty of the calm after the storm is where we must learn to find pleasure. The hopeful ray of sunshine, the magnificent rainbows and a fresh new ground upon which to walk our path. This is the true value in the price of a storm. I know I have no control over when it's going to rain again but I do have control over what I choose to do when it does and it most definitely will.